When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?
Oh boy! Sixteen was not such a good age for me, when I was sixteen I couldn’t really imagine my life now, in all honesty I couldn’t really imagine I would make it into adulthood.
I went to school every day but don’t remember much of it, I was usually high and paid very little attention but managed to finish High school with a scholarship. Don’t ask me how I managed that, and again don’t ask me why I never used the scholarship – I guess it goes back to thinking I was not worthy. I had an abusive childhood and at fourteen I stopped my father’s abuse with a promise to kill him if he touched me again. Fifteen wasn’t much better, I was raped once by a stranger (while I was drunk and high) and abducted (and possibly rufied and raped) by someone known to me (surprisingly I wasn’t drinking or toking that time). Sixteen didn’t mean much.
I learned to drive though, and on my sixteenth birthday I passed my driving test during one of the worst snow storms Elliot Lake, Ontario had ever seen. Unfortunately I sort of spent many years after that getting in my car and driving, or running away if the truth be told. Not running away from anyone, just trying to run away from my past.
Life is better now. Far, far better than I ever could have imagined at sixteen. Life is not perfect, but I can wake up each day and count my blessings, there is much more good in my life than bad, and most days are good days.
I still like to get in my car and drive, but now I drive toward something, I no longer run away.