A couple of my recent posts – So The Psychiatrist Said…, and How Far Is Too Far, garnered some interesting speculation. I was particularly interested in one of the negative comments and have put part of my answer to it in this post.
Let me begin by saying that my words are not harming my children, they are fifteen and nineteen, not five and nine years old, they are old enough to understand that standing up and speaking out about injustice is not a bad thing, it is a necessary thing. Secondly, I’m their mother, they have never read and have no interest in reading my blog, as far as they are concerned I don’t really exist outside of the realm of “mother”. Besides, why should I keep my experience with abuse quiet from them? They are two girls, in a group of three, one of them will be a victim of abuse in their lifetime. Hopefully mine will have learned from me that abuse is not acceptable.
At least I’m damn sure I’m no longer willing to keep my mouth shut because what i say may make someone else feel uncomfortable. You should feel uncomfortable. Abuse is more than uncomfortable, it destroys lives and families, it harms society as a whole and it will take the whole of society to stand up and put an end to it.
F.U. secrets, I’m standing up and shouting out. How dare you tell me not to?
Reviewer Rose 
I have found that the abusers need to control even if we have run away from them as far and fast as we can. They will find others to hurt you, to call you down and inflict pain. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I myself am going through a separation from an abusive man. As time goes on my self esteem and power is returning. My childrens pain however is difficult. It is a wonder how they still love and trusy me the eay they do.
I feel for you Judy. There is so much abuse and it always hurts more that just the person being abused. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hello, I read this and was lost for words and have come back. As a blogger I know that when we open up and shed light on a subject we open ourselves up to be judged and criticized. In my opinion keeping things in the dark is not healthy. Evil breeds in the dark. I don’t like secrets. We get free and healthy from sharing and exposing the darkness. Our experience will help someone else along the way. I believe that is what our own trials are for. All of it is for growth and it builds character and then we teach and encourage others from what we have learned. Beth Moore and Joyce Meyer’s are two women that teach and speak about their experiences on abuse. From that they mentor and help many. … Have a beautiful day! (:
Thank you for reading and for your comment. 🙂
Just maybe unknown knows more than you think. Just maybe they have watched these girls grow from birth and agrees with the Doctor. Something to think about maybe ?
No. Here is the thing, I have been the only constant in their lives. Others have seen snippets and snapshots which do not tell the whole story. Anyone who is in E’s life is also in my life, and I don’t keep people with that kind of vitriol in my life. Anyone who actually knows me well enough to also know E would come directly to me with their concerns if they had any. I know this to be truth.
That is where you are wrong!
Now this is getting creepy since I know everyone in my inner circle and if there is someone else who has followed them from birth that person would have to have been stalking us an awfully long time. Unless of course this is someone within my inner circle, which I find very unlikely. So, if you are a stalker, back off, and if you are in fact “my friend” I suggest you tell me who so I can stay away from you. Also, if you have been part of their lives all along then you will have already met my ex. If you know I am wrong please stop being cryptic and give me details so I can tighten up my security.
I think it is interesting that the people having a go and being accusing post anonymously, people like this I don’t take seriously. If they have to hide behind a mask of anonymity then they lose credence on what they are saying in my opinion. Or perhaps they should just grow a pair and say what is on their mind without hiding.
I can only only go by my own take, I don’t know you personally so really I dont know for sure if there is or is not some “blame” to be laid at your feet, but if I were to make a judgement call based on the two posts that you put up about it I would say not.
That Dr said something, you analysed it and decided you didn’t think it true, I don’t think the Dr was out of line for saying it though, they were merely (I assume) saying something that they saw or thought they saw.
I don’t claim to be a perfect parent, I’m sure i’ve made wrong decisions along the line, parenting doesn’t come with all the answers, and all the parenting classes I’ve taken and books I’ve read don’t give all the answers. We all do our very best, and making mistakes is part of the human condition. 🙂
Totally agree, there is no manual, or at least mine wasn’t put in the post lol.
There were a couple of pretty rude people commenting on those two posts while hiding behind a mask to do so. They are the cowards, not you. Their “concerns” are misguided. They are the reason so many people keep abuse and mental illness a secret, when it absolutely shouldn’t be. Not only are you helping yourself by working through this, you are helping E by not holding in all in to the point of losing yourself in a crying fit, and someone else who comes here to find that they are not alone in the struggles they face. Secrets hurts everyone involved in keeping them.
Yes, I think if you can’t claim what you say, then it shouldn’t be said.
Woo hoo! Go girl 😉
🙂